I’ve set up Google alerts for my name, primarily to monitor any mention of my book, but also to judge the size of my electronic footprint and determine what fat needs to be trimmed. What I’ve discovered about those who share my name is rather interesting.
My Google alerts say that Thomas McKenzie is typically a happily married man with a loving wife and two or more children, usually daughters. More often than not, he is a pillar of the community; a lawyer, a veterinarian, or a minister.
A Twitter bio for one Thomas McKenzie reads: “I am a husband, father, friend, pastor, writer, storyteller, blogger, critic, runner, speaker, and by grace alone the one whom Jesus loves.”
Well done, Thomas McKenzie. You’re best mates with Jesus!
Another: “Father Thomas is the first Pastor of Church of the Redeemer. He, his wife, and two daughters have lived in Nashville since 1999. He is originally from the Texas Panhandle. Thomas is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin. His Master’s Degree in Divinity is from Trinity School for Ministry in Ambridge, PA. He was ordained in the Anglican Communion in 1998. He currently serves as a missionary to the U.S. under the authority of the Archbishop of Rwanda and the Anglican Mission in the Americas.”
Good job, Thomas McKenzie!
Unfortunately, Thomas McKenzie is also frequently discovered shot in his home. He is often involved in bar fights.
Example: “Miami physician’s assistant Thomas McKenzie pleaded guilty today to defrauding the Medicare program in connection with a $119 million HIV infusion fraud scheme, Acting Assistant Attorney General Matthew Friedrich of the Criminal Division and U.S. Attorney R. Alexander Acosta of the Southern District of Florida announced.”
You made a poor choice, Thomas McKenzie.
This one *really* hit home, and my heart kinda went out to his friends and family. (The similarities between my life and his are a tad eerie.)
So to all the responsible Thomas McKenzie’s out there: well done, lads!
The rest of you lot: You’ve been warned.