Tomorrow and Tomorrow

“I changed my mind / and looked no better.” – 16 Horsepower

“The future of computers means walking away from the computer, and becoming the computer.” – Unknown

(Tomorrow) – One might feel bad for the poor fool who comes factory wired with a taste for unnatural acts; when the revolution comes to town, there’ll be thousands of these perpetual organ-diddlers, wholly prepared to fritter away their lives chasing an electronic dirty dream. They’ll tie their mental inbox to the ‘feed from their favorite Blue sites and lie around in puddles of their own bodily fluids as their brains turn to tapioca and their fingers get wrinkly, too busy swapping memories of a quasi-happy childhood in Meatland for enough storage space to house their computer-enhanced relationship with a perfect partner, an electronic lover who’ll find them desirable no matter what they’re wearing, or how much weight they’ve gained. On and on it goes, until the frequent flier becomes the plane…

Becoming mostly computer means exposure to BrainSp@m. Imagine you’re passed out on your couch, in the apex of a fantastic lay, or taking a shower before work. Basically, anywhere you don’t want to be disturbed. Suddenly, a piece of BrainSp@m breaks through your firewall, bombarding you with offers of discount miracle pills designed to quadruple your sex drive, reset your alpha waves, re-grow your missing arm, and re-animate your dead dog. Time to upgrade that firewall, my friend. And maybe next time, you’ll steer clear of Windows? (We tried to warn you.)

Becoming mostly computer means the streets will be crawling with DocuNauts; hard-wired head haunters who Viddy-O trips to exotic locales as requested by their clients; invalids and shut-ins so afraid of this electronic future that they refuse to unlock their apartments and venture outside, relying instead on these ozone-reeking meta-beings to provide ‘the full experience’. Come Tomorrow, you’ll be able to purchase any experience you’ve ever dreamed of – the attention of beautiful women, the acceptance by your peers,.. sh*t, even the love of your own mother.

Becoming mostly computer means hosting an Innerweb site in your brain, the ultimate home business. Imagine your ‘Headsite in this pay-per-thought world: full immersion touch, smell, sight, taste and sound, and interactive documents that leap to life! Come down with pneumonia and you’ll have to quarantine your ‘site for a few days. That’s revenue lost, unless you stored several days worth of programming in advance. Can you copyright your own thoughts? Where does your mental identity begin and end? Guess we’ll find out Tomorrow, because that’s when the future arrives.

By Tomorrow, those who meditate will be able to offer us portion of their serenity, a place away from the noise of this new existence. You can count on your contracted ‘spiritual technician’ to meditate for you an hour each day. While they’re deep into the Aum, you’ll slink among the shadows of their No-Thingness, sipping black coffee and sucking down cigarettes within a stones throw of elderly Korean women practicing Tai Chi in the park, savoring the peace they exude.

As we become more and more computer, our bodies will serve less and less of a purpose. Society will be able to register its invalids, vegetables, coma patients and infirm for a higher calling. While their slumbering bodies are given the highest level of care medical science has to offer, their still-conscious minds, unified for greater purpose, free from ego, free from division, will be plugged into special bays and their sleeping intelligence will be harnessed by NASA as computational horsepower for calculating deep space voyages and solving the worlds problems. When (and if) a Sleeper should awaken from their coma, their mind will fairly dance with quantum calculations and intimate recollections of distant galaxies. As you can imagine, Post-Cosmic Calculation Depression will present a real challenge to Tomorrow’s care-givers, and suicide rates among ‘Wakers will be fairly high. It’s an acceptable loss. What more can this life on this Pale Blue Dot offer to those who’ve wandered the universe?

What will be the legal terminology for someone who hacks your mind and diverts your conscious soul into a specially-crafted reality loop, while they use your physical body to rob, rape, murder and buy decaffeinated coffee? What legal process will be required to solve such heinous crimes? No doubt a crack investigation team will be required to download your entire life, dissecting your naked memories in search for entry points and signs of intrusion. Imagine, your life laid out on a workbench under intense scrutiny, the rape and pillage of your mortal soul. Some might find this refreshing, realizing there’s truly no place to run, and nothing left to hide from.

See you Tomorrow,


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