13JAN08 – Sunday morning sunlight sneaks in between the blinds. Coffee, headphones, and a gnawing sense of impending doom. I should be putting on warm clothing and going for a ride, clearing my head, getting some air. And I probably will. Just not yet.
There’s a lot of junk that floats to the top of my brain pond when I write or draw. For example: a girl in my explosives class, Jackie something… almost twenty years ago. Jesus. Has it been that long? We were only acquaintances, barely friends. Anyway, we’re in line for breakfast at the galley one morning when she turns to me out of nowhere and confesses she’s been fucking the short order cook, the same paper hat wearing son of a bitch about to fix my breakfast.
“The egg man?” I was incredulous.
“Koo koo, ka choo,” she replies with a saucy wink and a tip of her head. The expression and delivery would embed themselves in my head and not leave for many a year.
Thoughts from last night: “Evolution is not a right – it is a privilege, but it is at least more than a polite suggestion… / Jesus evolved from apes, same as the rest of us… / the United States is the newest comet in the night sky with a violent and immediate future and a long, cold history. There have been thousands of such objects that have simply burned up upon entering the atmosphere, just as there have been many great cultures in the history of the world that burned brightly and then vanished with little trace. If we continue in our present trajectory, we can be assured that either our actions will have a lasting impact upon the continued development of this planet, or we too shall burn up and disintegrate. / Mountain peaks from opposites dimensions begin to merge and tilt as two worlds collide, rolling and meshing together like the gears of some great clock that tells only of the last moment.”
Finally I decide I’m ready for that walk. Immediately outside my apartment, I find a destroyed pair of underwear and what I’m certain is a bag of weed, but I’m not touching it to find out for sure. I kick it with the toe of my shoe and count three decent sized buds looking back at me. There’s also a condom wrapper on the ground. I walk on. Everything looks bleary-eyed, hung over and gray, as though the world hasn’t had a decent nights sleep in — well, ever.
In much the same way that Juneau’s mountains used to constantly surprise and stun me, the never-ending stream of commercial aircraft roaring low over my neighborhood look so marvelously out of place. The sky is made of landing gear.
I stop at Giant to buy a chicken sandwich for my walk. Tried to chat with the cashier, but she was having none of it… she just wants to go home. Sirens howl in the background as I walk toward the water. The contents of my pockets are arranged like the dashboard of an automobile: Sunglasses and iPods make automobiles out of us all. I am mindful of my posture in the reflection of a store window.
Standing on a spit of land watching planes fly north toward DCA. The park is empty. Posh property butts up against the water, everyone likes a good view. A black helicopter flies south, low to the water. The skies are always busy here. Grey clouds, cold wind. Channel markers, choppy water.
I wonder about what kind of appearance I present to others – a tall figure in black wearing dark sunglasses dictating who knows what into a tape recorder, looking at the buildings and observing passing commercial aircraft. Careful, old son. This is Danger Town.
There’s a faux Greco Roman sculpture in front of an office building, focusing on a mock up of the Washington Monument. I find an inscription: DCVLV MEMOR, and look it up when I get home. The only other person to notice and comment on it is the author of a local travel magazine. She calls the inscription ‘mysterious,’ and lets it go at that.
(Apparently Memor has something to do with a Northern African Roman official responsible for the Egyptian grain supply to Rome. After the defeat of the Macriani usurpers, Emperor Gallienus sent his general Aurelius Theodotus to Egypt to secure his hold on the province. Theodotus defeated Mussius Aemilianus who had staged a rebellion. His soldiers also killed Memor who had begun preparations for a rebellion.)
Sucks to be you, Memor.